but just as clear contemplation upon the ultimate state of umbrellaness you've achieved silently sirens your consciousness into to some strange state of accidental samadhi... a flash hurricane strikes, the skies turn the wrong color of pretty in pink, and some tsunami wave pulls you straight out to sea in the most violent of fashions... and now you're trapped in the terror of the eternal undertow surrounded by funky fish with creepy oversized fishbowl eyes... and though they can't speak to you, their glazed gaze clearly expressed what you already know... you are fooked down here without gills, Jill...
but just as you can't help gasping that burning breath of salt sting into your lungs, the whole sea scene is struck by sudden lightening and you find yourself rocketed into the electric air above the storm... and now those same strange eyes of your fish friends are emoting a different story, which can be loosely translated as, "gills kind of suck up here, dear"... but before you can even complete that sweet inhale of survival in celebration of Darwinian evolution, the largest wave since the great deluge comes crashing straight into you and smacks you backward onto that beautiful beach which only moments ago sung a song called "umbrella, umbrella, umbrella"...
now... as you reminisce on the impossibility of your continuing heart beat, another wave comes crashing in... this one, however, does not take you anywhere, but rather delivers onto you an entire family of an unknown genus of electric eel, which shocks the shit out of you... and before you can fully enter the irony of rocking that damn MGMT remix a million times too many, the sand around you caves in and you find yourself falling into an endless sinkhole which defies the most advanced theories of the greatest genius geologist in the history of modern science... and you fall and you fall and you fall...
until that sinkhole turns out to be mouth of a geyser whose funky breath propels you faster than Peruvian jungle puke into the heavens above you and you ascend and you ascend and you ascend... until you crash through the spiky palms of a too-tall tree to desperately embrace a branch with every ounce of energy you have left... but it turns out that's no branch you hold, Joe, but rather a ripe, round fruit that's ready to fall and fall and fall (did you know there are more Hawaiian deaths by falling coconut than by wave or volcano?)...
and you come crashing down onto those now tattered umbrellas in a coconut water flash flood of creepy-eyed fish and unknown electric eels as you gasp your last breath before your show is canceled by cardiac arrest... but an angel with caduceus tattoos drifts down to you on a rainbow cloud with divine defibrillator paddles and shocks you back into existence... too bad she wasn't privy to the fact that you and the fish and the eels had crashed onto the umbrella-covered back of a ancient wholly walrus who wakes from eons of rest and is none-too-happy for it... just look at the size of those tusks!!!
yep, it's kind of like that right now
we call it Uranus-Square-Pluto
just go with it :)
Love and Planets,
Gemini Brett